I remember the first time I met Heather, I was sitting in the foyer playing UNO with some of the other students who moved in that day. She came running in screaming, "OH MY GOSH! THE STUDENTS ARE HERE!" If you knew Heather, you know that caps lock is must when quoting her. She was the loudest person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Throughout the 6 month school H became one of my favorite people. She just had this lust for life, and a way of making everyone she talked to feel like they were her best friend in the world.
I got to watch her minister to thousands of middle and high school students when we were on tour. She would be sitting at a lunch table with these kids making them laugh, and within minutes the crowd of students would double. Everyone wanted to be around her, because she was so full of life.
I remember when we were in Vegas, I got really sick. I went to the Doctor and they said I had tonsillitis, so they gave me some drugs to knock me out because we were about to drive to Orange County. I remember being miserable in the back of that bus for the drive. We finally got to the place we were staying and my fever was much worse. She set up my blow-up mattress in a room upstairs, and then she sat next to me and melted ice cubes on my feverish head and prayed for me (She also ate a few of the ice cubes). She never left my side until I fell asleep.
After our school ended, I didn't get to see H very much since she lived in NY and I was either in NC or FL. The last time I got to see her in person was at the YWAM reunion in fall 2008. I cherish that memory, because we sat by the elevator of the hotel everyone was staying at and talked for hours. We got to catch up and she went into small group leader mode and listened as I poured my heart out to her. She gave me some advice that night that has stuck with me forever.
I remember when I got the call that she had passed away. I stood stunned while her brother could barely speak on the other end of the phone.
"Heather was in an accident," he said. "Lindsey... she, she died."
It was like the breathe had been knocked out of me.
I was at a friends house and he looked my face and said, "Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not."
And then I cried into his shoulder for a while.
I flew to Ohio and then drove to Chicago with one of my best friends to attend her funeral. It was a beautiful celebration and remembrance of her life and her legacy. But, something changed in me that day. I still struggle with why God would take someone so beautiful and loving out of this world. Why Heather? I still don't have an answer to that question. And I may never have an answer.
What I do know is that Heather left a legacy behind her. I can't tell you the number of people her life has touched even after her death. You can see for yourself. Search for Heather San Parman on facebook, you'll see what I mean.
Heather lived and loved out loud for everyone to see. Her last facebook status said, "Don't pretend to love others, really love them." And that's exactly how she lived her life. When everyone was in Chicago for the funeral, her family had pulled out all of her journals and we were reading through them. I wrote this down from one of them. It inspires me daily.
"At the end of the day it's what you do and say that makes you who you are. Makes you think about it, doesn't it? Sometimes all it takes is one voice... Take what you want, steal my pride, build me up, or cut me down to size. Shut me out but I'll just scream. I'm only one voice in a million. You ain't taking that from me."
-h.
So I'm left with my memories of a beautiful life and a challenge to attempt to live and love the way she did. She will never be forgotten. I challenge you to do the same.
I'll leave you with some pictures and a song about Heather.
Here are the lyrics to the song that a mutual friend wrote about Heather:
A life like I've never known
A love like I've never seen
A spark to light up a room
A fire that caught onto me
A friend who'll tell you the truth
When you don't know who to be
My God I don't understand
Why you had to leave
What is the measure of life
Is it time spent with family or friends
Or what you've done
What is remembered of life
Is it all the things you said
Did you keep the faith or run the race
Well either way, you won
It's hard to go on living life the way it was
Without you here to cheer me on along the way
But I'll remember all the time we got to share
Try my best to smile through the tears
The loudest person I knew
Or had the pleasure to meet
A heart as big as the moon
A love song stuck on repeat.
you can listen to the song here if you'd like: http://soundcloud.com/seannypower/heathers-song
Miss you H. Thank you for loving the way you did.
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